sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize