Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
