I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
