I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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