Those balls look pretty dangerous.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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