She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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