Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
