After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
