matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
