@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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