i jhust puked up my retainher.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
