this boner is exhausting
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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