So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize