3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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