yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
