hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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