I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
