I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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