You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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