After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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