Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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