Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
