I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
