Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I still have a little drunk in my system
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
