did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
