Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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