KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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