I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
