Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
