I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
