He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
