I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
