...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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