i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
