butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
