I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
