Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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