the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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