piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
