You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
