I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
