tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
