I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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