Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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