with your own penis?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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