I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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