They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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