his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
