Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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