He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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