I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
