I skipped work to stalk him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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