I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
