Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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