she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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