: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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